What Sucks About Video Games

I just finished Infamous on the PS3. I beat the big boss on Hard. But it was a frustrating experience getting to the end. The game didn’t start out frustrating. It’s open world design with main and side missions was very cool for the most part. I could play for 1/2 an hour after work and make some progress. I’m not one of those people who can sit and play a video game for an entire day. I play in small chunks, at most three hours. Usually an hour or less. But as the game progressed and the missions got longer, I was having less fun due to some questionable design choices. My experience with Infamous got me thinking about some things that really irritate me about game design. These examples are mostly about shooters/adventure games and don’t apply to sports or driving games.

In Mission Saves

I may not have time to finish a big mission on a Tuesday evening after work. It’s really annoying to play for half an hour, then stop because you have other stuff you need to do, and find out later you have to redo all the things you’ve already completed, just because the game doesn’t save in the middle of a mission. Grand Theft Auto IV was notorious for making you drive for half an hour just to start a mission, and then repeat over and over. If you died with your enemy one shot away from death, BAM, back to the beginning and another 1/2 hour down the tubes. Nobody does in mission saves better than Call of Duty. You pick up pretty much right where you left off every time. This leads me to the next point…

Let Me Skip Cut Scenes

It’s annoying enough to have to repeat things you’ve already done because of no in mission saves, but it’s enraging to have to then listen to the stupid cut scene with inane dialogue for the tenth time! Let me skip cut scenes! I muted the sound in Infamous during many missions after one restart because I could not stand listening to the dialogue over and over. The main boss at the end kept saying, “You’re not going anywhere!” Not only the same line, but the same take the actor recorded in the session. Brutal. And it wasn’t long before I hit the mute button.

Death Recovery Too Long

Not every game is bad for this, but Infamous in particular had what felt like a ten second recovery time when you were near death. This was too long, considering many enemies could put you into near death with one shot. Either shorten the time it takes to recover from near death or lighten up on the damage one bullet can do.

Good Cover/Aiming System

It goes without saying, you must have a good cover and aiming system. Infamous didn’t completely fail at this, but Call of Duty Modern Warfare is the best at it. I quit playing Bio Shock because it had no cover system.

Provide Enough Ammo

Infamous had plenty of ammo, in the form of re-charging from the electrical grid. Modern Warfare has tonnes of ammo. Again, I quit playing Bio Shock within 2 levels because ammo was so hard to come by. I was spending all my time at that stupid vending machine where all your money would by five bullets! Are you shitting me? Give me some ammo for crying out loud!

Performance Glitches

GTA IV was miserable when lots of things started happening on screen. When tonnes of cops surrounded you the game would actually slow down and hinder your movement so you would not get be able to get away. Infamous wasn’t nearly as bad, but many times the game would stutter a bit at a key moment and I’d be dead.

Controller Responsiveness

Again, GTA IV had awful controller responsiveness. Call of Duty is the best. When I hit shoot, my character had better shoot, or duck or run or whatever. This sounds so simple but it’s amazing how many games fail at this. Infamous was so irritating when your character got knocked down it took FOREVER to get back up and before you’d even get another shot off, you’d be shot and killed. Often when you just wanted to jump to cover, you’d accidentally leap to a light pole and still be in the open where you’d be shot and killed.

Damage AI

If I have to shoot a regular enemy ten times to kill him and he has to shoot me once to put me down, that’s bullshit.

Armour

Armour that only works on one kind of enemy or only in a very limited set of circumstances is not worth having. Infamous had no armour at all. Your ability to deflect blasts never increased. Yes you get an energy shield at one point, but it doesn’t work for most of the attacks the bosses throw at you! I especially love when you come across some cool piece of armour or shield only to immediately face a new enemy that is twice as powerful, completely negating the affect of the just acquired armour. This also goes for weapons.

Weapons

New weapons are almost immediately followed by new enemies that are much harder to kill. I understand why this happens, but some games take this too far. Give me some time to blow the weaker enemies away before you bring in the tough dudes. That’s the fun part about new abilities and weapons, using them on foes that you used to have trouble with. If you instantly make all the enemies harder you’ve gained nothing.

Enemies

I understand why the enemies get tougher as you get tougher. If you were just invincible and could mow down everything in your path the fun would soon become boring. But I’m just asking for a bit more balance between challenging and frustration. I also get the model of big boss battles, they can be an exciting way to finish a game, but often they just descend into memorizing their moves and how to damage them. Rinse and repeat. What makes it really irritating is not being able to save if you are called away to something else and you lose all your progress.

Don’t Make Your Game Impossible

Say you are a game developer. In a sense you are the God of that world. You could write code that would make the big boss evade everything you throw at it, kill with one shot, have weapons blast away every piece of cover, have infinite life and loop his annoying taunts over and over because you didn’t want to pay the actor more money to record more lines of script. You could give the hero armour that is ineffective, weapons that don’t work on the big boss and include bugs and glitches that hinder the game players ability to properly duck and run for cover. You could disable in mission saves and skipping cut scenes to make the player crazy doing the same thing over and over until his wrists give out. Yes you could do all that because you’re the God of the video game world you’ve created. Congratulations. You’ve become a dick.

Conclusion

There are other things that can be annoying about video games, pop-in (where the background objects just pop-in as you get closer), artifacting, characters walking in mid-air and other often hilarious glitches that aren’t usually show stoppers. In fact they are often very funny, I’ve even come across a couple myself from GTA IV and Fear 2. No the biggest annoyance I have with video games are more AI and controller related, as the previous examples point out. These are the things that make or break a game for me. I’m a bit more than a casual gamer, but I’m not hard core. I don’t finish a game in a weekend. I sometimes buy game guides, but usually I just want to sit and play without too much trouble. Uncharted 2 was great for this. It was challenging and fun, but you didn’t pull your hair out in some insane and unfair level.

I don’t want to have to play a boss battle for hours. I should be able to beat them in 45 minutes. Not 45 minutes every day for a week. I don’t mind long games, as long as its spent playing new levels, not playing the same thing over and over because the cover systems sucks, you can’t aim properly, you run out of ammo, the boss is indestructible or your character slows down because your game can’t handle too many things on the screen at one time. I also don’t want my gaming experience to be longer because I can’t skip cut scenes or have to spend 10 minutes just getting to the mission I’ve already died in five times, but you can’t save so your screwed.

I want to have fun gaming, not feel like I’m being shortchanged by bad development choices, or bugs in the code.

Pants On The Ground Jimmy Fallon Neil Young

Jimmy Fallon rocks!

Amazon Recommends Fail

Got this email from Amazon today…

Dear Amazon.ca Customer,

We’ve noticed that customers who have purchased or rated Harry Potter Collection (Films 1-5) [Blu-ray] have also purchased Becker: Seasons 1-3 on DVD. For this reason, you might like to know that Becker: Seasons 1-3 will be released on January 12, 2010. You can pre-order yours at a savings of 25% by following the link below.

Becker: Seasons 1-3

List Price: CDN$ 99.99
Price: CDN$ 74.99
You Save: CDN$ 25.00 (25%)
Release Date: January 12, 2010

So because I bought Harry Potter on Blu-ray I might like Becker! What the hell is Becker? I don’t like Ted Danson. Other than being a collection of DVD’s these two have NOTHING in common. Even that is stretching it because one is Blu-ray and the other is DVD. Wow.

3D Dawns with Avatar

James Cameron is back.

No doubt about it. The man behind Terminator, The Abyss and Titanic returns triumphantly with Avatar, an epic military action adventure meets Dances With Wolves. And it’s the movie that we’ll look back on as the true start of the 3D revolution. Sure 3D has been around for decades, but only now has it finally been executed flawlessly.

The best part about Avatar in 3D is that you quit thinking about how it’s a 3D movie. You just experience it. From the strange and beautiful creatures floating in the air, to the lush foliage in the foreground to the modern computer control surfaces, Avatar is a real world, not just a 3D gimmick. The best special effects are always the ones that don’t appear to be special effects; Gollum in Lord of the Rings, the liquid metal in T2, the Raptors of Jurassic Park, the opening sequence of the original Star Wars when the Imperial ship flies overhead. In fact Roger Ebert says Avatar made him feel like he did when he first saw Star Wars.

Many have said the plot is lame and predictable. I say two things, the plot of Titanic was predictable (we knew the boat was going to sink), and secondly, its how you get there that matters. The getting there is what makes Avatar work. The plot, while not that inventive, is adequate and believable.

The acting is also first rate. Even a role that could have been a stereotype, the evil military guy, is played very real and the actor (Stephen Lang) did not go over the top as so many military guy performances do. And this is part of why I liked Avatar so much, for the things Cameron didn’t do. Nobody makes long winded speeches about the senate and the trade federation (Episode 1 of Star Wars) and there is no Jar Jar. In fact, and this is key, the Na’vi (the tall blue people) act like an entirely different species and don’t follow human racial stereotypes like the newest Star Wars movies, or the more recent and dreadful Transformers 2 with it’s human race based robots. In Star Wars – Episode 1 who could forget the Mexican dealer selling spaceship parts, the Chinese aliens enforcing the trade blockade, or Jar Jar with dreadlocks and speaking in ebonics. Transformers 2 (one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen) did this with robots. I’m only going to say this once for all directors who are thinking of making a robot or alien movie…ROBOTS AND ALIENS DO NOT HAVE HUMAN RACIAL CHARACTERISTICS!

Avatar has none of this nonsense. The Na’vi act like Na’vi. The don’t sound like Mexicans or African Americans from the hood, or Asian gangsters. They sound like Na’vi. Yes you can draw a parallel between the Na’vi and Native Americans, but Cameron has invented a very real and unique sounding language and they don’t walk or move like humans. Because they’re not human. Cameron understands this. Maybe he can teach George Lucas and Michael Bay something about robots and aliens.

Avatar is one of those movies that comes along every few years that everyone must see. And you must see it in 3D. I was not sure what to expect when I first saw the trailer with the tall blue aliens, but the film really delivers. You actually feel for these 3D CG characters. I’m sure, just like with Titanic, when you watch the film again and again on DVD it may lose some of that magic, but Avatar has already earned it’s place in history.

BlackBerry To Release Desktop Software For Mac

As a Mac user and a BlackBerry fan life has been pretty rough when it comes to syncing.

Why not get an iPhone you ask? Well first, there was no iPhone when I got my BlackBerry and also the only GSM provider where I live (Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada) is Rogers and their coverage sucks compared with SaskTel (currently a CDMA carrier, but in 2010 they will be changing to UMTS or 3G)

I have the BlackBerry 8830 World Edition phone and really like it. I mostly use it for email and texting. I also have an iPod Touch so I get the best of both worlds.

So back to syncing, right now Missing Sync For BlackBerry is the only reliable option to sync with your BlackBerry. However it doesn’t allow you to add or update BlackBerry software.

I’ve tried using the BlackBerry Desktop on Windows using Parallels on the Mac, but when you plug in the device it doesn’t connect and the annoying Windows “dong” sound repeats incessantly.

This will change soon as RIM has announced that they will be releasing BlackBerry Desktop for the Mac in September! Finally, at long last. Hopefully it works.

UPDATE…Engadget has the review.

A Word About Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, died today at the age of 50.

“Thriller” was the first cassette I owned. “Black or White”, “Man In The Mirror” and “Heal The World” were three of my more recent favorites.

Jackson lead a life of extraordinary privilege but paid dearly for it.

Cardiac Arrest is not something that just happens, even though it appears that way. A lifetime of stress, prescription drugs and multiple surgeries was obviously too much. His body was worn out.

Michael is at peace now. Thanks for all the moves, music and memories.

Land Lines Suck

I’m visiting my parents house. After going out for lunch, I’ve been home for about a 1/2 hour now and already two robo-calls. One from a credit card company and another from some department store. I cancelled my land line over three years ago and phone solicitation was the main reason I got rid of it. It’s painful being at someone’s house who still has a land line, because half the calls are simply bullshit. Last night my mom took a call from the local newspaper wanting to know if she would subscribe. Mom told them she already got the paper. Don’t they have a list?

I just have my BlackBerry now and would never bother with a land line. Too expensive and too many robo-calls. You know it’s a solicitation when there’s a slight pause after you say hello and the computer either connects you to the call center or the recording starts up. Usually that gives you ample time to hang up. The only calls I get now are from my own bank trying to up-sell me on some insurance for my credit card or crap like that. I finally gave in and got the insurance, but they still phone. Apparently there are different levels of coverage and I was just at the first stage. But there isn’t much that can be done. The bank has to have your phone number. However I wish they would phone only if all my money is suddenly gone, or they are depositing money because I won some contest.

Land lines are important so 911 can trace the call if you can’t speak or are otherwise incapacitated, but that’s about their only advantage. I suppose the quality is better then some cell signals, but only marginally.

But the phone solicitation is a deal breaker. If I want to do business with you, I will call you. Or find your web site. As for trying to sell me some shit over the phone, fuck off.

UPDATE…It’s not just the phone. The doorbell rang a couple of minutes ago, causing the Pomeranian to go ape. Is it the cops? Or the fire department…NO…it’s a couple of young guys with clip boards and badges from some company I’ve never heard of trying to tell me they will install some system (not sure what kind of system) into the house for free and that it’s very important and have I heard of them. No I haven’t. I ask them to leave a brochure and at that point the turn around and walk away. What kind of bullshit scam is this? FUCK OFF, Get off my lawn!

UPDATE 2…So the local paper just called again, asking mom if she wanted to subscribe…again. So she politely told them that someone had phoned two days ago and that we already get the paper. That’s my mom. So polite. Courteous. I would have told them to screw off. Right before the newspaper called there was another robo-call, this time it said “This is your pilot speaking, you’ve won a trip to…”

We have to get back to the days like in the movie “Secondhand Lions” with Michael Cain and Robert Duvall or “Grand Torino” with Clint Eastwood, where you sit on the front step with shotgun and anyone who comes by peddling bullshit had better be able to run fast.

Corner Gas Comic Book Store

Corner Gas Comic Book Store

My episode of Corner Gas is on You Tube. Hank and Brent run into their look-a-likes at the Comic Book Store. I’m the Hank look-a-like. Check it out.

Mac vs PC

I’m a Mac.

Apple posted revenue of $8.16 billion and a net quarterly profit of $1.21 billion. These results compare to net quarterly profit of $1.05 billion in the year-ago quarter.

Thats an increase of $0.16 Billion. The best March quarter revenue and earnings in history.

I’m a PC.

Microsoft Corp. announced revenue of $13.65 billion for the third quarter ended March 31, 2009, a 6% decline from the same period of the prior year. Operating income, net income and diluted earnings per share for the quarter were $4.44 billion, $2.98 billion and $0.33 per share, which represented an increase of 3% and declines of 32% and 30%, respectively, when compared with the prior year period.

That’s revenue decline of 6% and a decrease in net income of 32%.

Don’t worry PC, Windows 7 is just around the corner.

Microsoft Net Earnings Down A Whopping 32%

Microsoft released it’s Third Quarter results and its Net Earnings are down 32%.

After Apple’s incredible results yesterday, maybe Steve Ballmer will shut up about Apple. Then again, maybe this is why he won’t shut up about Apple. Microsoft is clearly getting hammered in the mobile phone space by BlackBerry and Apple. In the consumer desktop space, it’s losing market share to Apple. It’s getting walloped online by Google. They do the best with software for business, and when business goes bad these are the results you get.